Sunday, 29 May 2016

Chutkule Hi Chutkule, Majedar Chutkule, Hot Chutkule in Hindi


Chutkule Hi Chutkule, Majedar Chutkule, Hot Chutkule



Nadi mai behti hui kasti ka koi kinara nhi hota.....
Mager kasti ka behti hui Nadi ka kinara bn jaata h...
Ulfto ka fasna nigaho ka kinra bn jata h.....
Chato ka asfsaana behti huye pani ke sath beh jaata h
  • ****
  • Dil bhi ek zid pe ada hai kisi bachche ki tarah,
  • Ya to sab kuch hi ise chaahiy ya kuch bhi nhi
  • ****
  • Purani soch: Karo ya Maro.
  • Nai soch: Marne se Phle kuch karo!
  • Ekdam Nai soch: Jab tak kuch kar nahi lete maro mat!
  • Hamari Soch: Koi Bataega Sala karna kya hai
  • ****
  • Bhikhari (car me bathi lady se) :
  • "Madam, 10 rupay de do..."
  • Madam ne paisa de diya...
  • Bhikhari jaane laga tabhi
  • madam boli :
  • "Baba, dua toh dete jao...!"
  • Bhikhari :
  • "BMW me toh baithi ho,
  • ab kya rocket me Baithegi
  • ****
  • Sardar ki G.F. romantic mood me:-
  • Aaj mere ghar koi nahi h, aa jao.
  • Sardar:- Pagal tu mere ghar aaja,
  • yahan hum saare h, tera dil lag jayga.
  • ****
  • Sardar office ja raha tha, Patni pyaar se boli:- See u in the evening.
  • Sardar gusse se:- Dhamki kise de rahi h, main bhi tujhe dekh loonga.
  • ****
  • Sardar kisi ladki ke ghar rista le kar gaya ladki ke maa baap bole humari beti abhi padh rahi h.
  • Sardar:- Koi baat nahi hum 1
  • ghante baad aa jayenge.
  • Sardar ne 1 number dial kiya 1
  • ladki ne received. Sardar:- Hello kaun.
  • Girl:- Main Seeta.
  • Sardar:- O yaar ye to ayodhya lag gaya. Sorry Maate.
  • ****
  • Manager told a joke. Everyone in the team laughed except one guy...

  • Manager asks him - "Didn't you understand my joke????"

  • The guy replied - "I resigned yesterday"
  • ****
  • Neta ji gaanv mein sabha karne ja rahe the lekin gaanv se pehle hi unki car ke neeche ek kutta aa gaya.
  • ****
  • Kutta mar gaya lekin car bhi accident ki wajah se kharab ho gayi

  • Neta ji ne driver ko madad laane ke liye gaanv mein bheja.

  • Thodi der baad jab driver lauta to uske gale mein dher saari malayein padi thi.

  • Neta ji ne poochha ki toone aisa kya kiya jo tera itna samman hua?

  • Maine to sirf itna kaha ki neta ji ki car ka accident ho gaua hai.....
  • Kutta mar gaya....

  • ****
    • Patni ki raat ko achanak 2 baje neend khuli to paaya ki pati bed par nahi hai

    • Khojne par pati dining table par baithe huye dikha
    • Pati hath mein coffee ka cup lekar soch mein doobe huye deewar ko ghoor rahe the.
    • ****
    • Patni chupchap pati ko coffee ki chuski lete huye baar baar aansu ponchhte dekhti rahi.
    • Phir patni pati ke paas gayi aur boli "Kya baat hai dear? tum itni raat mein yahan kya kar rahe ho?"

    • Pati ne nazar uthaai aur kaha "Tumhein yaad hai 14 saal pehle jab tum sirg 18 saal ki thi?"
    • Patni bhaav vibhor ho gayi aur boli "Haan yaad hai"

    • Kuchh ruk kar pati bola "Yaad hai jab tumhare judge pitaji ne hamein meri car mein ghoomte huye dekh liya tha"

    • Patni "Haan haan yaad hai"\

    • Pati "Yaad hai tab unhone mujhe dhamkaya tha aur kaha tha is-se shaadi kar lo nahi to tumhein 14 saal ke liye andar kara doonga"

    • Patni "Haan haan woh bhio yaad hai"

    • Pati apni aankh se aansu pochhte huye bola "Aaj main jail se chhoot gaya hota"

    • Humne Chaand se pooha teri Chaandni ka raaz kya hai?
    • Chaand ne aapki taraf Ishara kar ke kaha, Inhi say pucho jisay dekh kar mein chamakta hoon.
    • ****
    • In chemistry class, the teacher asked a girl, what is 'nitrate'?
    • The girl replied Rs 2500/ + hotel room bill.. this is my night rate!!

    • Generation Next Motto:
    • Na hum shaadi karenge,
    • Na apne bachchon ko karne denge.

    • A Patient After Injury Visited His Doctor
    • A patient after Injury visited his Doctor
    • He gave some pills and wrote on case paper
    • History - he had 'Pholenfrometry'
    • ****
    • The worried patient, though relieved met several specialists to get his diagnosis of 'Pholenfrometry' cleared...
    • Finally he called up his old Doctor to ask, when he replied
    • "You yourself told me you had "Fallen from a Tree", That's it!
    • ****
    • Moral for Doctors - Don't use own made up abbreviations and short forms, write History properly
    • ****
    • Never Mess With Seniors !!
    • A couple returned to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde.

    • "I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price," said the man. "Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model."
    • ****
    • "Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash, and just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman.

    • Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys.

    • "There you go," she said. "I told you I could get this joker to drop the price. See you later, daddy.”

    • Never mess with seniors!!!!
    • ****
    • Bhai's One Leg Had Turned Blue
    • Bhai's one leg had turned blue..
    • He went to the doctor...
    • Doctor: Poison has spread pasha bhai. The leg needs to be amputated.

    • Operation took place and pasha bhai's one leg was removed.

    • After few days, another leg turned blue.

    • Doctor: Poison has widely spread. We need to amputate this leg too.

    • Now pasha bhai had two artificial legs fixed.

    • After few days, artificial leg turned blue too..

    • Doctor: Now I understand your problem. Pasha bhai, your lungi is leaving color.